The Phantom of the Opera: Teen Titans' Style
by the lone psychopath
Summary: man loves woman, woman loves another man, man goes into homicidal rage over this. story contains no pairings just terra the rock, blackmail, slade and robin continuously bounding and gagging each other and LOTS OF INSANITY!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is not another parody where all the author does is make the teen titans act out a play or movie stealing all of the dialogue directly from it. That is plagiarism not a parody. This however _is_ a parody that mocks both the book and the movie. And it is not a musical, but I might mention one or two songs if they can easily be made fun of.

All casting was done by Beast Boy.

--Robin's audition--

"I'll be playing the phantom." Robin said.

"No way, you have curtain puller written all over you."

"WHAT!"

"You're always the star, in all of the dark serious episodes that actually have meaning and you got to play Hamlet the last time the author forced us into one of these parody thingies and I wanted to play Hamlet cuz he was cool and has a skull but you were all nooooooooo you can't memorize his lines and I bet I could so it's not fair that you're always the star so now you get to be the curtain puller."

"Let me at least play Raoul!"

"Curtain puller."

"Christine?"

"Umm… that's a chick part."

"I don't think you understand, I am willing to play a girl to be the lead-"

"Dude, no!"

"You're going to regret this." Robin grabbed his script and walked away ticked off.

--Raven's audition--

"First things first," Raven said, "I don't sing, I hate to act, don't expect me to smile and I don't care if corsets were in style at the time the play is set. Try and make me wear one, you will die."

"Hmmm…" B.B looked at his list of parts, and some notes he got from some bootleg cliff notes on each character.

**Phantom** - cool scary dude, loves Christine, major beef with Raoul, the star, do not give to Robin!

**Christine** - phantom's girlfriend, does MAD singing, stage kiss, Raven Muhahaha…

**Raoul** - loser that Christine likes, annoying crybaby, stage kiss, major beef with phantom

**Firmin and Andre** - two old rich dudes who buy the place and piss the phantom off

**Carlotta** - major beef with Christine

**Madam Giry** - knows the phantom, small part

**Narrator** - part for the author until someone dies

**Curtain puller** - self explanatory

"Christine."

"She sings, she smiles, and she has a stage kiss. No."

"You have to! Haha!"

"Sure about that?" Raven held up a bootleg advance copy of Zelda: Twilight Princess, B.B's eyes widened and he began to drool as he stared at the game.

"So new… so shiny!"

"I could always fry this thing by putting it in the microwave."

"NO! You can be Madam Giry! Please give me the shiny!" Raven tossed him the game; Beast Boy admired it and carefully opened the case only to realize it was empty. Raven had merely printed the game's cover from the internet and put it on an empty box. While Beast Boy was crying, Raven took her script and walked away.

--Terra's audition--

Terra was just standing there

"Do you have any previous acting experience?" B.B asked.

No response

"Ok, none, umm what part are you auditioning for?"

No response.

"You are aware Christine has a stage kiss are you sure?"

No response.

"No I'm not playing the guys she kisses."

No response.

"I understand, if I was a girl I'd only wanna kiss me too. Carlotta it is!"

--Cyborg's audition--

"Can I play the phantom?" Cyborg asked.

"Sorry, you can't have his part."

"Why?"

"Cuz season three was about you, you already had your share of the spotlight."

"So! Season five is gonna be about you!"

"But we haven't seen it yet now have we."

"But it's about you!"

"But we haven't seen it yet."

"But it's about you!"

"But we haven't seen it."

"But we're going to see it-"

"You can be Firmin and I'll be Andre." Cyborg shrugged and took his script.

--Slade's audition--

"Why am I here?" Slade asked.

"Cuz we're doing the phantom of the opera and there's more than five characters."

"And you expect me to care because?"

"I think you'd make a good phantom."

"No."

"WHAT?" Robin popped outta nowhere, "YOU CANNOT GIVE SLADE THE LEAD! I SHOULD BE THE LEAD! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE PHANTOM!"

"Actually," Slade said seeing how pissed of Robin was, "I will take the part."

"HE IS NOT PLAYING THE PHANTOM!"

"Yes he is," B.B said, "now go memorize you're lines."

"I have none." Robin said and glared.

--Aqualad's threat… err audition--

"Why am I here?" Aqualad asked.

"Cuz you're playing Raoul-" B.B was cut off by Robin.

"I should be playing Raoul! I deserve the spotlight! I know how to use it and-"

"Robin, don't make me demote you to narrator." Robin froze in shock, then he walked away, "Ok Aqualad, you're playing Raoul in the phantom of the opera."

"No! Mas and Menos dragged us to that movie because they thought the girl was pretty. I _fell_ _asleep_, and it wasn't like Speedy or Bee woke me up when the movie ended either. What makes you think you can force me into this?"

"Just the contents of this envelope," B.B gave a big envelope to Aqualad, "I have copies by the way." Aqualad opened the envelope.

"What the heck?" he asked, "All you did was edit some pictures on the computer so it looks like I'm at a sushi place."

"The public doesn't know that."

"I hate you." Aqualad took his script and left.

--Starfire's audition--

"May I-" Starfire was cut off by Beast Boy

"Christine is the only chick part that's left. It's yours."

"Glorious!" she took a script, "I shall learn all of my lines with much enthusiasm! Christine gets to wear many pretty dresses yes?"

"You did not just give that part to Starfire!" Robin was back yet again, "I'd make a better Christine than her-"

"Robin, is Christine not a girl?"

"Yes she is, and she also happens to be the lead, I'm always the lead."

"But if she is a girl why would you wish to assume her role?"

"Because she's the lead."

"But you are a boy."

"And in Shakespeare's day men always played women, I don't see why I can't play Christine."

"But this is not in the day of Shakespeare." This went on for a very long time, in the end Robin lost, Starfire did a victory dance.

Cast List

Erik (the phantom) - Slade (happy to see Robin so pissed off)

Christine - Starfire (loves her part)

Raoul - Aqualad (this was not voluntary)

Carlotta - Terra (she's a rock, need I say more?)

Andre- Beast Boy (ok with his part)

Firmin - Cyborg (same as B.B)

Madam Giry - Raven (doesn't really care, just happy her part is small)

Curtain puller - Robin (extremely ticked he is not the star)

Narrator - Me! (narrating sucks…)

A/N: Man narrating sucks… I mean ladies and gentlemen way back in the late 1800's there was a haunted opera house in France. They had a ghost, he stole stuff and occasionally someone's corpse was found lying around who had been making fun of him several days earlier. Then one day two rich guys bought the place, so the two guys they bought it from were holding a huge gala to celebrate their retirement. At the after party Raven the keeper of box 5, pulled Cyborg and Beast Boy aside…

"The house ghost asks that you keep box 5 empty during every performance so he may attend as he pleases," Raven said.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Cyborg asked.

"We have a ghost in the opera house, keep box 5 empty for him and pay him the 20,000 franks a month he requests."

"WHAT!" B.B asked, "first he wants us to lose money by leaving some box empty and then he wants us to pay him 20,000 franks!"

"That's how much they used to give him, you can afford more?"

"Forget the stupid ghost," Cyborg said, "everybody's just superstitious."

"Hey, it's your funeral." Raven said, hit Cyborg over the head with her fan and then left. The next night Terra got pissed at everyone so she didn't sing, Starfire had to fill in for her; everyone loved her voice and thought it was better than Terra's. Surprisingly one of Starfire's childhood friends even recognized her that night.

"Starfire," Aqualad said, "don't you recognize me?"

"No," she said nervously, "I do not."

"I am the little boy who went into the sea to get your scarf." Starfire did remember him, but she knew her "angel of music" had many, many issues and that if she started dating anyone, he'd start killing people… again.

"I am sorry," Star said, "we have never met. I will happily speak with you later. Farewell!" Then she pushed him out of her dressing room. Aqualad couldn't care less, he was about to walk off the stage but then he saw B.B hold up a piece of paper that said sushi and sashimi on it. Aqualad walked back to where he was and started eavesdropping like he was supposed to.

"You sang very well tonight."

"Why thank you Slade I mean Robin." Starfire said, "Should you not be pulling the curtains?"

"No that's Slade's job now, we traded parts."

"As you are our leader I trust that you are not lying and did not jump Slade, bound and gag him and then leave him back stage while you assume his role."

"Um… sure…" a shot of Slade bound and gagged backstage is shown, "back to the script. You sang beautifully tonight."

"Why thank you Robin, I sang for you."

"Who was that boy?" the voice got serious.

"What boy?"

"The one in here just now, you know what boy I'm talking about."

"Oh… that boy."

"Yes _that boy_". What was he doing in here?"

"He was congratulating me on my performance."

"He was hitting on you."

"He was congratulating me and nothing more."

"He was hitting on you."

"No he was not."

"I'm not stupid. What did the boy want with you?"

"He thought he knew me from childhood, and he was mistaken. That is all."

"He better have been mistaken. I've told you before not to allow boys in here, you're dating him! Aren't you! Do I have to start killing people again?"

"No! Please, Robin, do not go on another massacre."

"I don't trust him. You're coming with me."

In Starfire's dressing room, the mirror opens up; Robin comes out with his mask on and Victorian dress clothes (complete with a cool cape and some nice leather gloves) stolen from Slade. He grabbed Starfire's hand and took her down to his underground secret hideout place, as he had done several times before to give her music lessons.

When they got to Robin's hideout, Robin took off his cape, revealing his uniform cape underneath it, then he took off that cape. Then Slade popped up behind him and grabbed the back of his shoulder, knocking him out Spock style.

"Never mind him he was an imposter." Slade said.

"Did you not trade parts?" Starfire asked, she was having some trouble breathing.

"No, Red X was lying to you again." He dragged Robin by an ankle back stage, threw a few of the heavier sandbags on him and left him there, "Let me explain why I've brought you here. You have an excellent voice, it inspires me to write music and build weapons but your voice isn't perfect, with some practice it will be." He walked over to the organ, "Sing O Mio Babbino Caro," he began to play Starfire wasn't singing, Slade turned around and saw that she had fainted due to lack of air, "wake up!"

No response. Slade got up and went to her, and kicked her gently a few times.

"Wake up! You can't go home until you've had your music lesson!"

"Corset… preventing… air…" Starfire said, and then Slade took out a switch blade knife and cut open the back of her corset. Starfire began to breathe again. "Thank you."

"Why do women force themselves into corsets anyway?"

"Why do you wear your mask?"

"I told you not to ask me about that!"

"Then you shall not ask me about corsets."

"The mask is completely different; I can still breathe when I wear it."

No response.

**_The Next Day…_**

Robin has once again bound and gagged Slade. Slade is now back stage, while Robin is on stage stealing his role yet again.

Starfire woke up to hear Robin playing the organ. She walked over to him and asked him what he was playing. He told her it was the opera he was writing. Then even though the first time Robin or Slade brought her down there a few moths ago he told her "don't touch the mask and you'll be fine" curiosity had gotten to her. She quickly grabbed Robin's mask and pulled it off, only to see another mask under it, and another and another and another… _(15 minutes and a pile of masks later)_ and another and another and then she got the last one off, saw his face for only a second and screamed. Robin immediately covered his face, so she wouldn't have to see it.

A/N: For those of you who haven't read the book, the phantom has three emotions, rage (normally homicidal), sorrow and love. Sorrow leads to homicidal rage and then rage goes back to sorrow, love makes sorrow worse, leading to more rage and then more sorrow. It never ends.

"WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DO THAT! IF YOU THOUGHT I LOOKED HANDSOME UNDERNEATH IT YOU'D COME BACK! NOW YOU'LL NEVER RETURN TO ME! YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE!" then he got sad, "Why, Starfire… why? You can never leave now… my mask please?" she gave it to him and he put it on, "Please forgive me… you know I would never do anything to hurt you. Now you can never leave…"

"But am I not physically capable of leaving anytime I wish? I could perhaps use my starbolts to-"

"You're ruining the moment."

**_A Few Weeks Later…_**

Robin or Slade (you decide) had sent many letters to Beast Boy and Cyborg, yelling at them for not sending him his money yet and yelling at them for not making Starfire the lead in every single opera (even ones with a bass, baritone or tenor lead). He sent a letter to Terra telling her that if she ever sang again she'd die and one to Aqualad telling him to back off. And one of the stage guys who was making fun of the phantom a few days ago was found hanging on the stage. Total body count: 2

"Some freak named O.G keeps sending us letters!" B.B said, "Who the heck is he!"

"Opera Ghost," Raven said, "I suggest you listen to him. The death of the stage director was not suicidal." She hit B.B over the head with her fan and walked away.

"I don't care," Cyborg said, "he keeps asking for money and I'm not givin him any!"

"Did one of you send me this?" Aqualad said as he walked into the room, miserably. He wasn't trying very hard to act like he cared. "Someone named O.G. said if I do so much as look at Starfire he'll kill me."

"So now the ghost has a girlfriend." B.B said.

"She is dating a ghost and not me. My heart feels deeply hurt by this. Oh no, what shall I do?" Aqualad said this with no feeling at all.

"How should I know? She's been gone for three weeks." Then two guys dropped the statue of Terra in front of them. A dress had been sewn on to her and a letter was taped to it. She had an angry face drawn on her with sharpie markers.

"What the?" Cyborg took the letter and read it out loud.

_"To my most foul Terra, you are far past your prime and should no longer be on stage. I suggest you hand over all of your roles to Starfire she is a good student unlike **SOMEONE ELSE WHO PUSHED ME IN LAVA**! You're voice was never a comparison unless it's being compared to the sound a muffler makes when it being dragged along the street by a crappy car and running over a cat at the same time. You are never to set foot on that stage again unless your role is a silent one, or if you die within the first act. If the second one happens let me know I'll arrange to make that death permanent. -- O.G." _he stopped reading, crumpled up the letter and threw it behind his back, "we all know this is a lie."

"You'll be singing tonight!" B.B said to Terra, "We need your beautiful voice!" (A/N: The italics are B.B covering his mouth speaking for Terra)

_"You wouldn't have Starfire instead?"_

"She's gone missing actually. Besides, the world wants you. You have the best voice ever and you're beautiful and you have a wonderful voice, your fans need you. Terra, the world loves you! Please sing for us tonight."

"No way, I am not sucking up to a statue." Cyborg said.

"We kinda have no one else to sing for us!" B.B said aside to Cyborg, "if she don't sing, we have no show and then we're screwed!"

"How's a statue supposed to sing?" Beast Boy held up a record player and a roll of duct tape, "Why are we sucking up to her when we can just put her on the stage! She can't tell us no!"

_"No! I won't do it! How dare you talk to the prima donna that way!"_

"B…"

_"I'm shocked! I look nothing like Beast Boy! You are a horrible man! I'm not singing tonight!" _

"Yeah you are, and no way is some green idiot stopping me" Cyborg picked up Terra.

_"I demand that you put me down! This is an outrage! I'd like to speak with your mother! You are a horrible man!"_ Cyborg just continued walking until he reached the stage and put Terra on it.

"Awesome!" Beast Boy said, "You got her to sing! We're not screwed!" Cyborg narrowed his eyes at Beast Boy.

"What?"

A/N: That's all for the first chapter. Sorry I didn't post the story sooner, school started two weeks ago so the next update won't be for a while. A little word of advice, DO NOT TAKE CHEMISTRY HONORS IT IS EVIL!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This update was sooner then I thought it'd be, seriously my chem. teacher is out to get me. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! ((I'd respond to you but they have that crappy rule about not responding to reviews, almost as bad as the no script format rule.))

* * *

**Carolyn Carissa Sydnie**

**IwuvMyKenshyPoo **

**Coshie**

**BBfan4evah**

**Phantom Moon **

**Liobit**

**TheSkeet**

**Gildholen Eledolin**

**ivorypanther

* * *

**

Cyborg had just placed Terra on the stage. Then as he and B.B turned around to leave they saw a hanging corpse.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" B.B screamed like a girl and began to run around in circles. Then Raven walked onto the stage and used her powers to levitate a knife and cut the rope down.

"I told him to stop telling stories about the ghost and to keep his hand at the level of his eyes but he didn't listen. And the house ghost told me to give you this." She handed an envelope to Cyborg. Beast Boy was still running around screaming in circles. Cyborg took the envelope and opened it, it read

_Cyborg and Beast Boy, I want my money and I want it now. During your last performance box 5 was not empty. That arrogant fool, I believe Aqualad is his name, was in **MY PRIVATE BOX**! It is MY private box and therefore it is MINE and MINE alone. I will write it again to make sure it gets into your small heads **BOX FIVE IS MY PRIVATE BOX IT IS MINE AND MINE ALONE!** Oh, and I'm sending back Starfire; unless my demands are met (including that she is the lead in every opera) I will simply have to kidnap her again and kill the both of you. Have a wonderful day. --O.G._

"Raven, how can we be sure you're not the one killing all of these people?" Cyborg asked.

"I do not get paid to kill people; it would be a waste of my time."

"I think you're the ghost! How come you're the only one who talks to him? And you're always bringing us his letters! I bet you're the one who's killing everyone and you want my money!"

"I deliver his letters because he pays me a few hundred franks to do so."

"Yeah, that's **_all_** he's paying you for." Raven hit him over the head with her fan pretty hard, "Hey! That hurts you know!"

"Exactly why I did it. I was also going to say he talks to Starfire frequently I am not the only one he speaks to."

"That still don't explain about how you know about everyone who dies."

"I work here. I hear them making fun of the ghost, I tell them not to but they never listen, then they die, and now you refuse to listen. Keep your hand at the level of your eyes." Raven turned around to leave; she used her powers to trip B.B (he was running around in circles screaming the whole time) then she levitated the body and took out her comm. , "Operator, get me the nearest funeral home," pause, "I'm calling from the opera house," pause, "no the ghost can't have PMS he's a boy," pause, "no I have not tried giving him Midol," pause, "he wants a girlfriend and he's a musical genius but he's always hiding behind a mask," pause, "it's a very sad story and we shouldn't be speaking about him," pause, "you know what? Forget it I'm done doing business with you. You cost too much anyway." she shut the comm. off, "Great now I need to find a new funeral home."

* * *

_**Later that Day…**_

After a few weeks of holding Starfire, the phantom sent her back. They gave her a silent role in the next opera, Terra was still the star. Nobody cared about what the phantom said they were still ignoring all of his death threats. Big mistake.

Cut to ballet in the middle of the opera. A dead body falls onto the stage.

Total body count: 3

The dancers freaked but the audience thought this was part of the act and started cheering. Raven was backstage whispering at them to improvise while she got the body off of the stage. So the dancers kept dancing while Raven levitated the body off of the stage.

"He didn't listen to me either," Raven said to herself, "I tell everybody not to make fun of the ghost and they don't listen."

Now that the body has been taken away the dancers calmed down a little bit, their dance ended and Terra was brought back on the stage, followed by Starfire. Everything was going fine for the fist few minutes then Slade threw a blade from the highest balcony onto the record player.

"I requested that box five was to be left empty!" Slade said, "Did I not say that Starfire was to have the lead in every opera? I have been waiting impatiently for the money you owe me, you two fools I am not Raven," Raven waved at Beast Boy and Cyborg so they could see it wasn't her, "I warned you about the consequences, now you'll have to deal with them." Then he pulled out his sword, cut the chain that was holding up the big arse chandelier and it came crashing down onto the stage.

* * *

_**One Day Later…**_

"I hate this guy!" Cyborg said, "Look at these bills!" he threw papers all over the place, "we need a new chandelier, a bunch of repairs need to be made-"

"He killed my record player!" B.B held up both halves of his record player crying.

* * *

_**Outside…**_

Aqualad and Starfire are on the roof… alone, or so they think. Ok, they actually are alone, no stalkers… for now. Time for the stupid lovey-dovey part, people I cannot write romance, I can only mock it and mock it I shall.

"Starfire," Aqualad said reading his lines that were written on his hands, "I'm worried about you, who is this "angel of music" you're always talking about?"

"At first I thought he was the spirit of my father… but I do not know… he frightens me."

"You're dad was a nice guy, when did you realize his spirit isn't the kind that'd go on bimonthly massacres?" Starfire glared at him.

"I've seen him."

"Everybody saw him yesterday, what else is new?"

"I've seen his _face_. It is very scary; it is scarred and greatly disfigured worse than any monster I have ever fought and much worse than the swamp people of Orplex 15. I took of his mask and he began to yell at me, then when I started to cry he fell to his knees and started to cry and beg for my forgiveness."

"Then he's really ugly?" Starfire nodded, "So if he's really ugly you must love me and not him. Yes!" Starfire smacked him, "What was that for?"

"He loves me! He told me if I ever got married he would leave me forever." Starfire said sadly, "I want to leave him but if I do I fear he will die."

"Did he say you couldn't get engaged?"

"No." Starfire said happily, "Only that I could not marry."

_**Flashback**_

Slade: If you ever get married I will cover up my undying sorrow with rage, kill your husband and then leave you forever. Is that clear?

Starfire: Yes. What about engagements?

Slade: ((glare))

Starfire: There shall be no marriages!

_**End flashback **_

"Then you can get engaged?"

"Yes!"

"Will you marry me?" Aqualad was now reading from little bits of paper he had shoved in his sleeves.

"Yes!" Starfire said completely forgetting about the phantom.

"(_Kiss Starfire_) WHAT? NOBODY TOLD ME I HAD TO KISS HER!"

"Can't… breathe… corset…" Starfire fainted.

"Umm… wake up?" Aqualad kicked her a few times. Then Raven walked onto the stage.

"Who forced her into a corset?" Raven asked, there was no response, "Forcing any girl into a corset is as bad as forcing **me** into a corset. Who designed the costumes?"

Batman sunk down in his seat.

"Batman?"

"Umm…" Batman said.

"Now you will die!" Raven picked up a corset that was conveniently placed on the floor. Then she chased him around, got a hold of him, forced him into the corset using her powers and tightened it.

"I… don't… get… why… can't… break… out… of-" Batman said.

"Because corsets are consumed with evil. The perfect woman was supposed to have a waist of 18 inches back then and now you must have a waist of 18 inches! MUHAHAHA!" she continued to tighten it off stage. Meanwhile Aqualad had taken out a switch blade and undid the back of Star's corset.

"I believe we were supposed to kiss as in Victorian times it was only acceptable to kiss after being engaged." Starfire said.

"But it wasn't acceptable to kiss in public and we are clearly in public. I'll make arrangements for us to elope later. Bye!" Aqualad ran off stage. Starfire shrugged and followed him.

Throughout all of this Slade was sitting behind a statue, looking as though his heart had been ripped out, trampled over by a heard of wild boar, beaten with a club, chopped up into a million little pieces and then thrown in the furnace with some bad disco records. Then Robin walked up to him.

"This is my scene!" Robin said.

"What the? I'm the better actor, deal with it!" Slade said.

"You were never the better actor."

"I am which is why I was chosen for this part thank you very much."

"The phantom is supposed to be crying now. You can't make yourself cry. I'm the better actor."

"It's not like you'd stoop as low as to make your self cry either."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!

"Fine- what's the point of this?" Slade jumped Robin, then bound and gagged him (the audience was cheering like crazy) and threw him backstage. Then he took out a little notepad titled "kill list" and wrote the name Aqualad on it. Meanwhile Robin was able to break free; he ran back on the stage and jumped Slade, threw a few sad bags at him and eventually bound and gagged him.

……..

_**At the Masquerade a few days later**_

Everyone is there in a mask (duh) Aqualad and Starfire are together, some music is playing and everyone is happy. Then the lights shut off and the music stopped. Robin walked in wearing his Red X mask.

"Hello," he said, "you and you," he said to B.B and Cyborg, "I want my money this isn't a joke. Also your jobs lie in business and management not casting. I'm in charge of casting. Starfire will play the lead in the next opera, my opera" he threw his opera at them, "Don Juan Triumphant." he walked to Terra, "you're far too old for this, retire now and spare us," then he walked over to Starfire and took the ring off of her finger, "Who gave you this?"

Starfire said nothing. Then Robin said to Aqualad,

"The only reason I'm not beating you to a pulp is because ladies are present." pause, "As it is 1800 and something, I am sure you are aware that women are still thought of as property," all of the guys in the room nodded, "Starfire belongs to me."

"What the heck?" he said, "She's my property!"

"I AM **NOT** PROPERTY!" Starfire said. Her eyes were glowing and ready to shoot starbolts at the both of them.

"Actually we kinda are," Raven said, "your husband's even allowed to beat you with a stick as long as it isn't bigger than his thumb. This century pretty much sucks when it comes to rights unless you're a white guy with a ton of cash."

Starfire didn't say anything, she just stormed off.

"Now look at what you've done!" Robin said.

"This is your fault!" Aqualad said.

"No it's yours I only said she belonged to me, you called her property."

"But you referred to all women as property."

"But I didn't say Starfire was property."

"Yes you did."

"When?"

"When you called all women property."

"I said they were thought of as property not that they were."

"Well… well I love Starfire more than you do!"

"No you don't anyone who's read the book or has seen the movie knows that I love her more than you, a _lot_ more than you. Look here," Robin pulled out a copy of the book and pointed to some pages, "Erick clearly loves Christine more than that loser Raoul!"

"Yeah, but she loves me back." Aqualad smirked.

At this Robin jumped Aqualad and began to strangle him Homer Simpson style. Realizing this fight was supposed to happen at the graveyard, Raven pulled down the appropriate backdrop. Then Slade broke free, ran onto the stage and started strangling Robin Homer Simpson style. Robin began to suffocate and so he released Aqualad. Aqualad ran away. Robin kicked Slade in the crotch. There was no affect considering Slade wears armor at all times. Slade saw a Mr. Softee truck and released his grip. Robin attempted to grab Slade's neck but Slade kicked Robin in the crotch, then he threw Robin in a bag. Slade kicked the bag pretty hard a few times. Robin gave cries of pain. Slade smiled, threw it in the prop room and locked the door. Then he went to the Mr. Softee truck and bought some ice-cream.

* * *

**_At the opening of Don Juan Triumphant…_**

Starfire is on stage singing about how she's going to cheat on her husband by going past the point of no return wherever the heck that may be. Slade killed the male lead and took his part. He walked onto the stage and sang his part of the song, then Starfire sang her part, then they sang together. They were just about to kiss when Starfire pulled off his mask, revealing another mask.

"Not again…" Starfire said as she took another mask off.

"I don't think so!" Slade said, and then he opened the trap door and took her down once again into the labyrinth.

* * *

_**Later…**_

"Ok," Aqualad said to Raven, "I know you have connections to the phantom. Tell me everything you know."

"What's in it for me?" Raven asked, "I see no reason to speak." Aqualad sighed and took out a few hundred franks, "That's more like it," Raven took the money, "he isn't a ghost, he's a man, a musical genius. He was born horribly disfigured that explains the mask. When I first found him we were both children, he was living with a group of traveling gypsies, they treated him worse than you'd treat animals, and my memory is becoming a blur… if only I had some form of currency to fuel it…" Aqualad put some more money in her hand, "yes, and then I saw him and took pity on him, I told him he could stay in the opera house if he wanted. I am assuming you want to find Starfire."

"Yes."

"My memory seems to be leaving me again…"

"I'm not paying you again."

"Fine, I'm not talking." Aqualad sighed and put some more money in her hand, "good, ok, follow me and remember **keep your hand at the level of your eyes** I cannot stress that enough." Then Raven got up and led him down some stairs, after a while of going down she said, "They store the tellytubbies down there, I'm not going any further."

"Ok, thanks."

"Now put your hand back at the level of your eyes." Aqualad ignored her and continued walking down the stairs, "They never listen, then he kills them and everybody wonders why."

* * *

**_In Slade's underground hideout place…_**

"Starfire, here's the deal, you can marry me and we can have a happy life together or I can blow the entire opera house up thus killing everyone. I've even made a new mask that-" before he could finish Robin popped up behind him with a big. Robin forced Slade into the bag and then threw it in the costume room and locked the door.

"Marry me or I'm blowing this place up," Robin said, "I've even made a new mask it makes me look like anybody. I can take you out on Sundays we can write operas together and take walks in the park and have children and-"

"How can you find happiness in marriage if I do not love you in that way?" Starfire asked sadly. Before Robin could answer Aqualad came running in, Robin quickly threw a noose over him and tied him to the gate.

"Raven's right, you really should've listened to her."

"Let her go." Aqualad said.

"I think you're forgetting something. If I'm in love with her why the heck would I hurt her?"

"You're a homicidal maniac on drugs!" Robin ignored this.

"Starfire if you don't marry me he dies, if you marry me he lives. Make your choice."

"I hate you," Starfire said, "not because of your face; because of you are full of meanness! We could've been good friends but you have to kill people!"

A moment of silence

"What's the point?" Robin let go of the rope, Aqualad began to break free, "there's nothing I can do..."

"Robin…" she walked up to him and took his mask off, and the one underneath it, and the one underneath it and the one underneath it… the masks are all gone ten minutes later. It's obvious now that he has some kinda latex on underneath. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek. (A/N: That's right people, read the book it was a kiss on the cheek she never kissed him on the mouth!) Robin was now in complete shock.

"Not even my own mother kissed me… she would throw me the mask and tell me to be rid of her…" he kissed Starfire on her forehead, "I kissed her… and she did not die! What a wonderful feeling it is to kiss another human being-"

"THIS WAS MY PART! DAMN YOU GRAYSON!" Slade began to strangle Robin, "YOU STOLE _**MY** _DRAMATIC ENDING!"

"Go now…" Robin said while being strangled (yes he cares about being the lead **that** much) "leave me but promise to come back and bury my corpse. I'll die without you, but I'll die happy-"

"I strangle you and you still steal my part!"

Starfire ran to Aqualad, the background music for "All I ask of You" started playing.

"Robin, Slade, Erick, phantom or whoever go ahead and take her," Aqualad said, the music stopped, "I'm beautiful I can have any girl I want, you, you're screwed for life."

Robin and Slade both pause. They jump Aqualad. Then Edward Scissorhands waved to Starfire from the audience.

"Eddie!" she said with hearts in her eyes, jumped off the stage and ran away with him. Aqualad, Robin and Slade's eyes popped, they all froze.

"What the hell was that?" Aqualad asked.

"Exactly why I would've made a better Christine than her." Robin answered.

"So the play is over right?" Slade asked.

"Yeah."

"Wanna go for pizza?" Aqualad asked.

"Ok." Slade and Robin said. Robin took off his latex mask, revealing his normal mask.

"Wait a minute I'm evil!" Slade said, "I can't have pizza with you!" Then Slade knocked Robin and Aqualad unconscious, took their money and walked off the stage.

"The play is over…" Beast Boy came onto the stage and said, "You can leave now." There was a small amount of confused applause. The End

"No!" Raven said, "This isn't the end. Batman hasn't had his public shaming yet." She dragged Batman on the stage; he was in a corset and trying very hard to breathe, "You have been sentenced to three hours of public shaming and then you must forever wear this letter "C" on your costume, for the sin you committed, forcing girls into corsets!" Batman glared at her and then went on to receive the rest of his public shaming.

* * *

A/N: That's all for PotO, I didn't expect it to be this short. Yup… am being forced to read The Scarlet Letter I might write a parody of it.

Now all of you vote on what you want me to post next

A. My Big Fat Tamarainen Wedding - actually this isn't romantic, it's more about the Robin torture and Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy placing bets on everything.

B. Teen Titans Throughout the Decades - what happens when you put the titans in every decade from the 1900's to the 1990's

C. Safety in the Chem. Lab - a one shot based on this hilarious chem. safety video we had to watch.


End file.
